3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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