You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I want a musical about memes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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