Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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