i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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