you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
