so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
