I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
