like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
