I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
