His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
high people should be assigned attendants
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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