If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
