People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
