im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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