I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
