theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
