I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
