I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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