who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
