And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
