I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
