i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
