Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
