Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
