I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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