I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
