Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
