genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
