dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
