i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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