he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
