Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
