You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
