shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
