You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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