dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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