I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
