So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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