She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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