But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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