She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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