I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
