id be glad to
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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