So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
