Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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