Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
