I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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