Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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