"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
