Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
