Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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