So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
