I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
