what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
