How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
